Dear Sakura by G.P. pearsong1954@yahoo.com I. Walking slowly down the hallway of the now quiet mansion, Sakura and Tomoyo finally arrived at the guest room. The two stood face-to-face, hand-in-hand, smiling silently at each other. Captivated by the beautiful woman gazing lovingly at her, Sakura was unable to say good night. Tomoyo was tired, but her enchanted friend simply couldn’t tear herself away. Finally, as if groping for some excuse to keep the night alive, she stammerd out, “Tomoyo-chan, ummu, would you like to meet Dark-sama and Light-sama? I know it’s late, and if you’re tired we can go to bed, but…” Tomoyo squeezed the brunette’s hands and sweetly replied, “I’d love to, Sakura-chan. I’m never sleepy when I’m with my favorite Cardmistress.” Then, with a little frown of concern, she added, “But is Sakura-chan too tired? I know that she has written her magic is sometimes fatiguing, and I would not want her to be exhausted for my sake.” Sakura smiled brightly, shaking her head, “No, I’m fine, really”. With that, she spun about and ran down the hall, then turned sheepishly and started to yell. Suddenly covering her mouth at the realization of how late it was, she rushed back and whispered excitedly that she would return quickly with the cards. As she disappeared down the dark hallway, Tomoyo giggled, then took a slow, deep breath, struggling with her tumultuous emotions. She was indeed desperately tired, but sleep seemed trivial when she could be with her perpetually genki friend. After a few moments Sakura reappeared, Clow Book in hand, and the two entered the room. Sakura carefully laid the book down on the old desk and pulled a little gold chain from her cheongsam as Tomoyo busied herself with something in the corner of the room. Sakura undid the chain and slid the Key off, cradling it in her hands. Puzzled, she looked about the room for Tomoyo, and saw her already filming with the video camera. Despite a sweat drop, Sakura basked in the warmth of Tomoyo’s attention. Holding the Key to her breast, she chanted the words of power, "Key of the Star, with powers burning bright, reveal the staff, and shine your light. Release!" A swirl of yellow light arose, and the floor glowed with the the Star Seal. Sakura felt a pulsating power rush through her body. Leaning over the desk, she carefully picked up The Light card, and flicked it into the air. Twirling her staff, she nimbly brought it down with a splash of bright, white light. As the light slowly coalesced into a feminine form, she awoke The Dark, and black shadows poured into the room. Within seconds, two beautiful women, clad like queens from a fairy tale, stood before the two friends. The woman with long, straight dark hair looked smilingly at Tomoyo, and then shyly averted her eyes. But the other, her golden hair curling to the floor and floating in the air, gazed lovingly at the unknown dark- haired girl. Bowing slightly, she greeted her melodiously in sing- song Chinese. Wishing Fanren was with her, Tomoyo bowed deeply and replied, “Nihao. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t speak Chinese”. Dark looked at her in surprise. Light hid her tittering behind a slender hand, and spoke, “I’m sorry. I thought perhaps I was addressing a Princess of the Imperial House. Sakura-chan, would you please introduce us to this lovely girl?” Sakura shook her head, suddenly remembering her manners, “Oh, gomenesai! Dark-sama, Light-sama, this is my very best friend from Japan, Daidouji Tomoyo.” The shimmering figures smiled and bowed, as did Tomoyo. She watched in awe as shadows and light swirled languidly through the room. The two women from the cards held hands, their fingers lightly interlaced. Light's voice was soft and glowing, “Sakura-chan has told us so much about you. Sometimes you’re all she talks about.” Turning to her shadowy friend, she spoke earnestly, “She reminds me a little of you: sweet, gentle, and beautiful as twilight.” They were slowly drawn to one another, and for a breathless second Tomoyo thought they might actually kiss. But Light laid her hand on Dark’s blushing cheek, then turned slowly again to Tomoyo. In a voice like bright sunshine she said, “And like you, Dark-chan, I think she has many secrets, don’t you, Tomoyo-chan?” Tomoyo colored as Light’s sparkling eyes regarded her with measured care. Bowing slightly, Tomoyo replied, “None that I could ever keep from you, Light-sama.” With lady-like laughter, Dark’s delicate fingers touched her companion’s alabaster shoulder. In a voice like willows whispering in the night, she gently chided, “Secrets are yours to reveal, Light-chan, but mine to keep. Some hearts abide in darkness, lest they shatter in the light of day. When she wishes her secrets known, she will seek you. Till then, let her rest with me.” Dark leaned closer, her hand carefully brushing a stray lock of lavender hair from Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes. Tender as a mother, or a lover, she caressed the girl’s pale, crimson-flushed cheek. Tomoyo was shrouded in the shadowy-black hair that drifted serenely about her. Eveloped by a fragrance of night flowers and wisteria, of sandalwood and incense, Tomoyo stood breathless as the beautiful, pale face hovered over her. Dark lightly kissed her forehead. The young woman from Japan swooned as a peaceful wave washed over her, a tranquil blessing that calmed the thudding in her breast. All the knotted fears and worries wound so tightly round her heart were loosed, and for an instant her unfettered soul soared free. She slumped into Dark’s arms, tears flowing, hugging her tightly. Surprised, the Dark figure smiled and hugged the trembling young woman, whispering reassurance as she gently carressed her. Tomoyo’s hair came magically undone, the shimmering tresses cascading like a black waterfall. The red and gold jewelry that had adorned her hair tinkled to the floor as her body grew limp. She fell into a deep slumber, and Dark laid the little body gently on the futon and wiped away the sparkling tears with her fingers. The emeralds encircling the darksome woman's slender throat shone brightly, illuminating the room in a magical, green glow. With sad, black eyes she turned to Sakura and spoke in a solemn whisper, “Everything will be all right, if you take care of her. For now, let her sleep.” Sakura nodded silently. Dark and Light smiled and bowed, and Sakura returned them to their card forms. She carefully laid them in the book, then gazed at the still figure asleep on the futon. Sakura knelt and lovingly straightened her friend's shimmering lavender hair, slipped off the drowsing beauty's shoes, then loosened the red cheongsam. She finished by covering her with the silken quilt, but still could not will herself to leave. Tomoyo’s face was calm and placid, and she smiled sweetly at some delightful dream. Sakura looked at her with longing, glad that Dark-sama had apparently lifted some great burden from her heart, but secretly wishing she were still awake. There was so much she wanted to say, so much to do. But what? Sakura creased her brow and sorted through a jumble of thoughts and feelings. What exactly did she want to say, or do? She wanted to wipe away all the pain and hurt she had seen in Tomoyo’s azure eyes. Her chest tightened with the memory of Tomoyo sobbing in her arms just the night before. Looking at her now, that pain seemed so far away. But when she awoke, whatever had caused it, her loneliness, her lost love, or something else, would still be there to haunt her. It wasn’t fair that so gentle a spirit as Tomoyo should bear such agony. Sakura felt her will harden to a steely resolve as she thought, I will not let her suffer. I will not. But what else did the Mistress of the Cards want? She wanted to know why she loved Tomoyo more than her husband, her family, or her own life. This feeling confused her greatly, but she knew it to be true. Her love for her friend was boundless, like a glimpse of eternity, or a taste of the infinite. This realization had been long and slow in coming, but shook the foundations of Sakura’s little world when it finally arrived. Tomoyo was not her special person, or her true love. Nor was she a brother, or father, or Mother. Sakura loved them all dearly, but not like this. Sakura was happily married to a wonderful man. Tomoyo was not the love of her life, she couldn’t be. But that was exactly how it felt. There was nowhere on earth she would rather be but in this room, by her side. Sakura shook her head as she thought, how can I love her more than my own husband? Fighting back the tears she whispered, “I don’t know, but I do.” Finally, a cold emptiness gripped her as she realized that in three days Tomoyo would be gone. She clenched her fists into tight little balls as the thought sunk in. A metallic desperation seized Sakura as she contemplated life without her best friend. Being apart after the wedding had been hard, bringing her at times to tears. But now it was worse, for she had again shared life with her beautiful best friend. To see her, to hear her voice, to touch her and hold her and- and to kiss her. Sakura blushed and trembled, shaken by memories too sweet for words. She wanted to be with her not just tonight, not just in her visit to Hong Kong, but forever and ever and ever. But it was all impossible. Tomoyo had her own life now, and would soon return to it. She also had her own true love, a thought that pained Sakura, even as she determined that this heart’s desire of her friend would not go unfulfilled. And, for that matter, she herself had a new life with the man she loved. Sighing heavilly, Sakura lay down beside her sleeping friend, watching the quilt rise and fall with each sweet, slow breath. Nothing made any sense at all, and she was hopelessly confused. All she knew for certain was her love for Tomoyo. Wrapping an arm round the sleeping figure in the soft, downy quilt, the Mistress of the Cards quietly cried herself to sleep. II. With a flutter of dark lashes, Tomoyo slowly awoke. Dawn crept into the guest room, painting a warm yellow triangle on the wall opposite the garden window. Laying on her back, she began to stretch, but found herself tightly swaddled in the silken quilt. She noticed an arm wrapped around her, and, with a puzzled expression looked over to her side. There was Sakura, still dressed in the black cheongsam, fast asleep and holding her tightly. Tomoyo smiled, luxuriating in embrace of her dearest friend. Staring at the heavy wooden beams of the ceiling, she felt a tranquil sense of peace, a peace unknown for a very long time. She remembered Dark-sama's haunting presence, washing the aches and fears from her heart in a peaceful, shadowy wave. Maybe everything really would be all right. Somehow, it was impossible to think otherwise, here in her arms. She carefully shifted onto her side to better see Sakura. Is this what it would be like, to be with her all the time? To awaken every morning and see her, to putter about in the kitchen making breakfast, to come home at night and greet her, and then sleep together, entwined in her arms? Tomoyo sighed at this sweetest of sweet thoughts. She was fascinated by Sakura's face, so close to her own. Placid and happy, she was cute and adorable in her innocent slumber. It struck Tomoyo as odd that she had spent the night here, rather than with her husband. But she must have been too exhausted to make it back to her bedroom. Even Sakura's genki energy has it's limits, she giggled to herself. Well, if she had to go to sleep, this was as good a place as any. The young guest lay enfolded in her true love's arms for several blissfull minutes until she felt Sakura slowly begin to awaken. Smiling as Sakura yawned and stretched, one eye open and the other still closed, Tomoyo watched her intently. Half-asleep for sure, she giggled to herself. Softly she spoke to her still sleepy friend, "Ohayo, Sakura-chan." Sakura looked at her, eyes blinking in wonder. Realizing she had wrapped her arm around her friend, Sakura quickly sat up and spluttered, "Oh, ohayo, Tomoyo-chan. Gomenesai, I guess I fell asleep. I didn't mean to..." Tomoyo shook her head and smiled as she sat up, "No, no, it was wonderful laying here with you. I haven't slept so well in a very long time." Sakura smiled back, her hand behind her head in embarrassment. But then she put her hands in her lap, bowed her head so she didn't have to meet Tomoyo's gaze, and said, "I guess I didn't want to leave you, Tomoyo-chan. I just wanted to be with you." Sakura looked up, her emereald eyes shimmering. Tomoyo felt her heart stop at the sight. Suddenly, Sakura hugged her tightly, nearly squeezing the breath out of her startled friend. Tomoyo felt the soft, silk-clad form nestled against her, and a shiver of passion flowed through her body. She hugged back, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder. Finally they parted, slightly dazed but smiling. Sakura suddenly gushed forth with barely suppressed excitment, "Do you still want to see the school today? I thought maybe we could stop by before we went to the beach." "Yes, Sakura-chan, I'd love to see your school. I think it's so wonderful that Sakura-chan is a sensei." "Thank you Tomoyo-chan. I feel so wonderful today, not tired at all like I sometimes am after using the Cards. I'll meet you in the kitchen and we can have breakfast!" Sakura hugged Tomoyo again before rushing out the door. She left the pale girl huddled in the comforter, hand on her cheek, gazing adoringly. III. As Tomoyo clambered off the bus, she saw the modern looking, white, six-story building that formed the main structure of the Fung Kai Liu Yun Sum Memorial School. It was different from the traditional Japanese schools that she was used to. Large Chinese characters were written from top to bottom on the right side of the building. There were beautiful trees in front, and the grounds and building were impeccably maintained. Sakura took her by the hand and led her through the empty halls. Sakura had mentioned the school was on holiday, so she was able to get time off. Finally they went through a set of double doors into a small-sized gymnasium. Sakura scanned it to make sure that her gym was in proper shape, and then said, "We can leave our things in my office. It's over there, in the back." They walked accross the wooden parquay floor. Sakura pointed out the door to the dance studio, and then used a little brass key to open her office. The office was quite small, but Sakura had arranged things nicely without it seeming to be cramped. On her desk Tomoyo saw three pictures: one of Sakura and Syoaran from their wedding, and one of Fujitaka, Touya, and Yukito, all clad in their summer yukata. The other was of her, the same as the one she had sent Sakura for her nightstand at home. Sakura saw her looking and laughed, "I had a copy made so there would be one of you here at work, too. I have to have a picture of my girlfriend, after all." Tomoyo blushed and giggled, and made a mental note to send another picture. With that, Sakura began her guided tour of the school, pointing out classrooms and labs and the teacher's lounge. There, she was delighted to find her sensei friend, Wei Jun. Introducing Tomoyo, Sakura begged to be excused to attend to something with the cheerleading club. The older woman poured a cup of tea for her guest as the two sat down in the empty lounge. Her eyes lit up as she spoke in impeccable Japanese, "Ah, so this is Daidouji Tomoyo. I almost feel as if I know you, from all that Sakura-san has said.You're even prettier than her descriptions, which seems nearly impossible." Tomoyo blushed and bowed again as she spoke in her musical voice, "Thank you, Jun-sama, both for your kind words, and for helping Sakura with her new job." The older woman smiled wistfully as she replied, "It's been a pleasure to have her at the school. She's done a wonderful job. Besdies, she reminds me of someone from long ago. Oh, and so energetic! Sometimes even the girls have a hard time keeping up with her." The two talked about the school, and Hong Kong, and Japan, but somehow the topic always managed to return to again to the genki new P.E. teacher. With a twinkle in her eye, Jun asked, "Tomoyo-san, how long have you known Sakura-san?" This triggered another stream of reminisence from the young dark- haired woman, who recalled picnics and festivals, dances and contests. Immersed in visions of her adorable friend, the starry-eyed Tomoyo failed to see Jun's barely suppressed smile. Finally, the Chinese woman gently asked, "You still love her very much, don't you?" Tomoyo stopped and gazed at the kindly face of the teacher. She smiled and nodded, her alabaster cheeks touched with a crimson blush. After a moment of silence, the older woman continued, "But you've never told her, or if you did, she didn't quite understand you, yes?" Again, Tomoyo nodded solemnly. With a worried look she asked in a plaintive voice, "Sensei-sama, please don't say anything about this. I don't want to trouble her. She's found her own special soemone, and she's married to him. Everything is as it should be, and I'm happy that way." Tomoyo's words rang hollow in her ears, and the look on Jun's face showed how easilly the woman saw through her faltering mask. Her look held knowledge of Tomoyo's hidden hurt, and a sympathy that only mutually shared pain could bring. The Chinese woman looked out the window and sighed, "We're always happy that our loved ones are happy. If they really are happy, that is. But that doesn't ease the pain all that much, does it, Tomoyo-san? I remember Ming Xia's wedding. It was so beautiful, and I was so, so happy for her. But all the same, I wanted to die. I really did. To see her with him, knowing she was gone from my life, forever. But I couldn't tell her that, and ruin her happiness, too. I thought the years would be kinder, that someday I might forget. But it doesn't happen like that. Not when it's your true love. That kind of love isn't affected by time, or distance, or anythng at all. Before she died last year, she sent me a little letter. She wanted me to visit her in England. After all these years, she was lonely. She said she missed me. But I didn't make it. She never knew I loved her. Maybe she knows know, somehow. I don't know." On the brink of tears, Jun looked at Tomoyo with a sad smile and spoke in a broken whipser, "Don't worry, Tomoyo-san. I won't say anything to Sakura. I'm sorry, I..." She suddenly stood up and rushed to the door. Tomoyo rose to go to her, but she waved the young woman away. As the door closed, Tomoyo stood with her hands to her breast, azure eyes misted with tears. Poor, poor Jun-sama. How strong she must be to have lived through all those years of pain. How could she do it? How could anyone do it? Clutching her chest she felt a cold stab of pain at the thought: how can I do it? I don't know how I've survived for four months. How can I go on like this for years? She sat on the chair and struggled to calm herself before Sakura arrived. Somehow, when her friend at last burst through the door, she once again wore her very sweetest smile. "Hello, Tomoyo-chan, I'm sorry I was gone so long. Oh, did Jun-sama leave?" "Yes, she had to go. But we had some tea, and a very nice conversation. so please don't worry." Sakura smiled, though to Tomoyo's practiced eye she looked as if she were hiding something. Obviously in a hurry, the little P.E. teacher blurted out, "Umm, would you like to go out and see the athletic field now?" Sakura's eager face betrayed her as Tomoyo smiled in reply, "Yes, I'd love to." When they arrived, Sakura placed her friend in a little folding chair by the edge of the soccer pitch. A few boys were playing a game at the far end, though the late morning heat slowed their game to a crawl. Sakura suddenly blew a whistle, and out of the gym rushed eight girls attired in the uniforms Tomoyo had designed, followed by one in school shorts and a T-shirt, carrying a clipboard and running behind. Amid much giggling and blushing, the uniformed girls shyly formed up in front of Tomoyo. The small girl in T-shirt and shorts, her beribboned hair in two long, black braids, stood close to Sakura, warilly eyeing the mysterious friend from Japan through large, thick glasses. Tomoyo smiled and waved at her, and the little face quickly dissappeared behind the clipboard. Sakura blew the whistle again, and the girls formed up in two ranks of four. They bowed in unison as Sakura announced, "The Fung Kai Liu Yun Sum Memorial School Cheerleading Club thanks Daidouji Tomoyo for her wonderful uniform designs, and dedicates this performance to her honor." With another blow on the whistle, they began their routine. Tomoyo watched the splendid show with delight. The uniforms really did look adorable, and Sakura had trained the girls well in a remarkeably short time. One girl in particular caught her eye. She was nimble and quick, jumping over her teamates and spinning through the air like Jump or Dash from the Clow Cards. Tomoyo noticed that the girl with glasses had emerged from behind her clipboard and was watching the little acrobat with a look of utter rapture. Tomoyo giggled to herself and thought, that must be Chang Jung, the girl Sakura-chan mentioned. Finally, the girls formed a pyramid, with the object of Jung's affection perched on top. She stood fearlessly with arms raised high, then leaped into a summersault as Tomoyo gasped in surprise. The landing was perfect, and the dark-haired woman clapped her approval as the cheerleaders took their bows. Then they swarmed over her, chattering in an indescribably rapid Cantonese, eager to see sensei's legendary friend from accross the seas. A beleagured Tomoyo giggled as Sakura arrived, trying to bring order to the merry chaos. At that moment, her Jun arrived to the rescue, cheerfully translating the questions about toys and clothing design and life in Japan. Finally, Sakura sheparded her flock back to practice, demonstrating various moves with the easy grace that marked her gymnastics, and had captivated Tomoyo's heart. As she watched adoringly, Tomoyo noticed little Jung by her side. When she smiled, the little girl bowed, and spoke in a endearingly soft voice, "Ohayo, Daidouji-sama." Tomoyo returned her bow and greeting. She asked Wei-sama to translate, and thanked the girl for being such a helpful assistant to Sakura. The little girl blushed, replying that it was because she wasn't very good at athletic things, and that sensei-sama was kind enough to let her help as best she could. But when Tomoyo asked the name of the nimble little girl who had topped the pyramid, Jung's face lit up. "Ah, that is Ling Xiao. Isn't she wonderful!" The child clasped her hands and looked up starry-eyed. Tomoyo smiled and nodded as Jung gleefully told her all about her marvelous friend. Finally, the Japanese woman knelt down, gazed into the girl's eyes and asked, "You like very very much, don't you, Jung-chan?" She smiled and nodded. Tomoyo then asked, "Does she like you the same way?" Jung suddenly became thoughtful, and her pretty face almost sad as she replied, "No, I don't think so. We are very best friends, but I don't think she likes me the same way." Tomoyo felt a stab in her heart. Fighting to keep her composure, she asked in a whisper, "Does Xiao-chan know how you feel?" Again, the little girl looked solemn beyond her years, "No, I don't think so. I don't think she would understand. But some day, I want to tell her how I feel." Tomoyo nodded as she fought back the tears. Her voice was trembling as she replied, "That's good. Tell her how you feel, Jung-chan, and soon. Even though it may be hard to do, it's very important that she know. OK?" The little girl nodded and smiled brightly, then ran off to help Sakura. Tomoyo stood up and hugged herself tightly. The Chinese teacher stood by her side, gazing with pity. There was nothing to say, so the older woman remained silent. Finally, Sakura made sure the girls had drunk their fill the of water before dismissing them to the showers. Then she bounced up to the two women, towling herself off and grinning. Tomoyo smiled as she spoke, "It was wonderful, Sakura-chan. Thank you so very much." Sakura smiled, "No, no, thank you! They wanted to do something for you, because of the uniform design. It really did turn out great. No wonder you're a professional designer, Tomoyo-chan. Are you ready to go to the beach?" Tomoyo nodded, then bowed to the older woman by her side, "Arigato gozaimasum, Jun-sama. I hope we will meet again." With a bow, the older woman smiled her goodbye, then silently watched the two friends hold hands and walk away.