Dear Sakura
by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
amazonessduo@hotmail.com
pearsong1954@yahoo.com


Dear Tomoyo-chan,

At our house there is a vine in the garden. It has been there for
many years, since I was a child. Most people do not pay attention to
it, for it looks like a dead bush, and is overshadowed by the many
gaudy flowers around. it. It is called a "peniocereus gregii", or
Night-Blooming Cereus. When I was six, my Mother told me about this
flower. She told me because I was not happy so much about my
appearance. I did not feel as pretty as my sisters at the time, and
was sad. So, Mother took me into the garden and showed me this most
pathetic looking little plant. I remember this surprisingly well. She
asked me, "Fanren, what do you see here?" I told her I saw a plain
looking plant. She answered, "You see with the eyes of a fool, who
looks once and knows nothing. Watch this plant at night". In our
family, when Mother speaks it is wise to listen. This is true in many
Chinese households, you know, but is especially true in ours. I could
tell you many amusing stories about this. 

So, in the middle of summer, with no school to worry about, I went
into the garden each night to watch the plant. There was nothing much
to see, but I was not only obedient, but also very curious. Then one
night, a thing most amazing happened. I had nearly fallen asleep when
I noticed the little buds on the twiggy stems seemed to have moved.
To my wonder and astonishment, they blossomed that night into the
most beauteous flowers I have ever seen. They were like pale stars
with a golden center, delicate and intricate with a fragrant scent
that wafted over the entire garden. I stared at them all night, at
that beauty which had been hidden during the day. How easy it would
have been to miss them entirely. It was magical to share that warm
summer night with the beautiful flowers, but with the first ray of
light at dawn the petals withered and the blossoms dropped to the
ground. That morning I talked to Mother, and told her of the wonder I
had seen. I asked her if it would bloom again that night, for I very
much wanted to see it once more. She shook her head, and said the
plant only bloomed one night every year. She said that sometimes the
most radient beauty is hidden away, and can only be seen by those
with patient hearts.

This was a good lesson for me, as I was not a patient girl. I am
still not the most patient of women, as my family would no doubt tell
you. So perhaps this lesson did not work as well as Mother may have
intended. But what I have always remembered is the surprise of seeing
such beauty so unexpectedly. I felt that delightful surprise when I
first saw you and Sakura-chan at our house those many years ago.
Aiyaaa, I do not think I have ever seen such adorable girls in all of
my life. And then, to my astonishment, there was Sakura's brother and
his most attractive companion. Such splendor was enough to break
one's heart. I felt like this again during your most recent visit. I
knew from the picture that Sakura-chan showed me that you were very
beautiful. I thought surely you were a model, or perhaps an actress.
But I was not quite prepared for you in person. Tomoyo-chan, I was
enchanted. 

Mother can be very cruel, for when I told her this she said I am
always being enchanted. She is maybe perhaps right, I suppose. Mother
says I am too fickle, and like a bee dance about from flower to
flower, never working hard enough to gather any pollen. Or perhaps
she is frustrated that I have never married. But you are a flower
this little bee has been unable to forget. You are of course a most
beautiful woman. I do not have skill enough with words in this
language to speak of it properly. But seeing you kept me up at night,
and I longed to be with you. I have known many beautiful girls and
women, but most of them are tedious. Often their attractiveness is
dimmed by their vanity, and I quickly grow tired of their
companionship. But your company was delightful. You are bright, and
charming, and most witty. Your loveliness is so natural, as if you
were blithely unaware of it. Somehow that only makes you more
attractive. 

I am sorry. I have been writing this while looking at pictures of
you Sakura has given me. They are quite terribly distracting, and I
should put them away so that I may finish this letter. But I will
not, because they are wonderful to look at. Thank you so very much
for them. Anyway, I quite fell under your spell. I appreciate that
you are telling me that you are bound to Sakura-chan. However, I
could see this for myself, as you look at her with such tender
regard. It is curious, because from the way Sakura-chan talked about
you, I had assumed the two of you were once lovers. She speaks of you
with such affection and awe. But oddly, she later seemed quite
perplexed by what I was hinting at. She is most deliciously cute when
she is confused about things, is she not? I was even further baffled
myself when I saw the two of you together during your visit. Your
love was most charmingly evident, but she did not seem to quite
understand it all. It was very baffling to me, though perhaps I
understand more now after your letters. Yet I wonder if anyone really
knows Sakura-chan's heart just now? 

Thank you for your most forthright honesty. Though it is beautiful,
it saddens me somewhat that your love is so constant. I myself feel a
longing for you, and know your presence would brighten life up quite
a bit. But most of all I am sad for your heart that has no rest, and
knows such pain. Sakura herself is in a turmoil these days. She is
always talking about you, and sighs when she speaks your name. I have
heard her crying at night, in the kitchen and the garden. She misses
you so, and is much like a little lost child without her mother. I
hope that all goes well with your plan to fade away from her life.
What you say is very logical indeed, and must certainly be true. But
hearts are strange, and sometimes what we think does not seem to
matter to them. They are impertinent, and have their own way of
things. Maybe I am sympathetic with hearts, for they are like me bit,
yes?   

Being with you was a most delightful surprise, for if our meeting
was as brief as the Cereus blossom, it was also as beautiful. I will
pray for you and Sakura-chan at the temple today. May all the gods
and spirits protect your hearts.


My best regards,

Fanren

PS- I will be in Tokyo next year, and will most gladly accompany you
to the local clubs in Tomoeda. Aiyaaa, I cannot wait to dance with
you!        


Dear Fanren-san,
	What you said about the Night-Blooming Cereus was beautiful. Ieran-
sama is a very wise and knowledgable woman. It's true that if your
heart is patient enough, you can find the most stunning beauty. I'm
very lucky that it didn't take me long to find it. But it certainly
caught me by surprise. I had never dreamed that I would discover such
a gorgeous creature on this planet, not just in her appearance, but
also in her shining spirit. It was almost too much for me at the
time. I remember coming home and lying in my bed, staring up at the
ceiling in amazement, my heart lost in confusion at the sheer bliss
that the cute girl at school had stirred within me. I didn't get much
sleep that night. Actually, I haven't gotten much sleep since that
night. There have always been costumes I have designed just so I
could see her in them, videotapes to watch her actions from times
long since passed, and thoughts of her to keep me from sleep's gentle
embrace. 
	But you are right. Patience is necessary to see the beauty that is
so often hidden right in front of us. I know that patience certainly
helped with Sakura-chan. Sometimes it takes her a while to understand
things, but I was happy to wait for realization to dawn upon her,
helping her gently along the way. You're also right about how cute
Sakura-chan can be when she's confused. I always loved seeing her
like that. In the end, Sakura-chan always wound up fixing things. She
has an awe-inspiring determination that is really unstoppable when it
comes out. I don't know if you've had a chance to see it, but her
eyes sparkle like emeralds when it takes hold of her.
	Thank you for letting me tell you all this. I can't tell Sakura-
chan because I don't want to burden her with any of it. It has helped
quite a bit to be able to talk to you. I don't think you're fickle at
all. I think that your heart wanders. But when you find the right
person, the one who holds your heart, then it will stop its journey.
I hope that you find this person soon. You are a very delightful
woman and I think anyone would be extremely lucky to have your
company.   
	I'm sending this at the same time as I send my final letter to
Sakura-chan. It pains me so much to do so, but I know I have to. The
thought that I'll never see her again tears at my heart. It was so
hard to see through the tears while I wrote it. I'm lucky I didn't
have to tell Sakura-chan in person because I don't think I could
have. I already miss her terribly. My heart will always belong to
her, no matter where she is. Please keep an eye on her for me. Her
happiness means everything to me. I can't stay or I'll ruin that
happiness. If she continues looking, she may unravel her new life
because of me. I couldn't bear to see her lose all of that. And even
if she quit searching, I don't think my heart would last much longer
if I stayed in her life. I wanted to fade out slower, to disappear so
that I would only be a distant memory to her. But I can't. I'm afraid
that everything is too close to the edge. I have to leave her life
now before it's too late. But it hurts so badly. It feels like I'm
leaving a piece of myself behind. I will always love her. That's why
I have to fade away. 
	Fanren-san, thank you again for all of your help. I look forward to
seeing you in Japan someday. Perhaps you can tell me what has become
of Sakura by then. Right now I would love to dance. I'll always
remember it as such a beautiful activity, a song of hearts. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Daidouji Tomoyo