Stepping Stones to the Future This is a fanfic about Tomoyo and Sakura . It is a darker story than my previous ones and it made me cry as I was writing it on paper. I know that all of you are more knowledgeable about CCS than I am, but I hope you will like the story anyway. There are some female to female interactions but no hentai , and as always please send your comments to me at rphjas@lycos.com. This is the reason I have begun writing again since 1975. I get to hear from you and please, comments good or bad are always welcome can't get better without them because I still want to put my dreams into words for you. Humbly yours Joe Saunders rphjas-san at rphjas@lycos.com . At the Daidouji Estate: Tomoyo was satisfied with her preparations. Everyone in the mansion was sound asleep and her bedroom door was locked. She had laid out several of her most precious treasures of Sakura on her large four poster bed. She had painstakingly placed the camcorder and tripod in the right location. The light in the gigantic room was at the perfect intensity. A soft melancholic melody could be heard in the background as Tomoyo worked in the room. Lying on the bureau next to her sewing bag, the manilla envelope waited to receive the soon to be completed videotape. Gazing into her mirror, Tomoyo made some adjustments to her long lavender hair-tweaking a ribbon here or a bow there. She judged her appearance before the mirror. She looked like an expert doll maker's masterpiece. Beautiful lavender hair fell on her shoulders and behind her back. Luminous lavender eyes sparkled in her seemingly porcelain-like face. Her long dress was a beautiful egg-shell blue covered with red lace, bows, and trim. Tomoyo sadly smiled at her reflection, but she could not cry because all of the tears had been shed during previous nights. “I must look my best for my Sakura-chan.” thought Tomoyo as she steeled up her willpower. Picking up a small rubber eraser from the bureau top, she clasped both hands around it and brought them to her chest as if she were praying. “Now for you, my Sakura-chan.”whispered Tomoyo. “My one last gift to you...“ At the Kinomoto home: Sakura picked at her food even though she was hungry. She had been uneasy throughout supper. Touya's teasing bounced off her ears and went unnoticed. Her loving father's questions about her day were lethargically answered. At the end of supper, she lazily waved at her father and elder brother as they went to their respective jobs. After finishing her chores, she listlessly climbed the stairs and walked into her room. “Welcome home, Sakura.”said Kero while he was playing one of his favorite video games. “OhHi , Kero.”said Sakura as she went to her desk to start her homework. Kero flew up to the desk, licking his lips in anticipation of the evening dessert. “Hey, Sakura where's my dessert?!”exclaimed Kero as he angrily plopped down on her desktop. Sakura looked at Kero with a dazed expression and said,“Sorry, Kero-chan. Let me go back downstairs to the kitchen and bring you my share.” With heartfelt concern, Kero said, “Don't worry about it, Sakura. You don't seem like your usual self today. What's wrong?”He flexed his tiny biceps and continued, “Is that Li kid making trouble for you? If so, I'll change into my true form and bat him around like a soccer ball! Sakura shook her head and answered,“No, Kero-chan - He's been treating me ok. It's just that my heart has been feeling like a tick's been sucking the blood out of it until only a withered husk will remain. Oh Kero-chan, I can't put it into words!”concluded Sakura with a sigh. Kero thought for a moment with his hand balled under his chin. He asked, “When did this feeling start, Sakura?” It started sometime after school and continued as I skated along with Tomoyo-chan. It has gotten worse since I got home and I can't figure out what it is!” answered Sakura in a frustrated voice. Kero responded,“Calm down, Sakura. Banging your head against a wall won't solve anything. Kero mused,'Since all of the Cards have been sealed and Eriol has left, I don't think it is anything serious. Maybe you just left your recorder at school!” Sakura angrily swatted at Kero who nimbly dodged her hand. “It's not that simple, Kero!”yelled Sakura. “I think this is a premonition, but I just don't know what it is about!” Kero guiltily looked at Sakura. “I'm sorry for trifling with you, Sakura. I wish that I could help you better with this problem. Hey maybe a nice hot bath and a good night's sleep will help you clear everything up in the morning!” “You're probably right, Kero-chan.”said Sakura. “And I am sorry I tried to hit you. I know you were only trying to cheer me up. Kero puffed out his little chest and said , “Apologies accepted, Sakura. Trust the great and powerful Guardian Beast! All will be well by morning and I'll even forgive you for not bringing me any dessert! Sakura weakly laughed at Kero's posturing and remarks. ”You're probably right, Kero-chan and I am way too out of it to do anything constructive tonight.” At The Daidouji Estate: Tomoyo had about five minutes before the camcorder and tape player turned on simultaneously. She had been secretly rehearsing and preparing for this evening's performance for over a week. While completing some minor adjustments to her hair and dress, Tomoyo did another quick run- thru of where she would stand and the words she would sing from the lyrics she had painstakingly written and memorized. She still clung onto the little eraser that Sakura had given to her at their first encounter. She thought, “Now I can say the words to Sakura that I never dared to say. I can use my camcorder, melody, and lyrics that I wrote from my innermost heart and reveal my true feelings this one and only time.” 'I must perform perfectly.'mused Tomoyo as she walked to the small tapedx placed on the floor which divided her bed into symmetrical halves. “For my beloved Sakura- chan,“whispered Tomoyo. She inhaled deeply and then slowly exhaled - blowing away the facial masks that she used in her everyday life. “Now my soul is bare for Sakura-chan to see.” The camcorder and tape player clicked on and Tomoyo began ... At the Kinomoto home: Tossing and turning in her bed, Sakura tightly hugged the CardCaptor Sakuradoll that Tomoyo- chan had given her long ago.Beads of perspiration rolled down her face and soaked her pajamas. Her features were contorted into looks of pain , distress, and denial. Gasping for air, Sakura bolted upright in her bed. She opened her eyes and frantically tried to quiet her racing heart. “Hoe! what was that all about?”cried Sakura. But like wisps of smoke or fluffy clouds, the nightmare refused to be captured. Trembling, Sakura got out of bed and went to her desk. She somehow knew that she had to open the drawer where the Book of the Star Cards was kept. After opening the drawer, Sakura noticed a white light coming from the deck. She urgently pickedthrough the pile of Star Cards until she found the source of the light. It emanated from the lastCardthat appeared when she had overcome Eriols final challenge. The light was pulsing as if it were a heart beating. Suddenly, an arrow of light shot out of the Card and passed through the window into the darkness engulfing Tomoeda . The Card flew behind the arrow of light. As the startled Sakura watched these events, her hand accidentally touched the Light and Dark Card. In an instant, the two spirits of Light and Dark materialized and stood before their Mistress. As always, they were holding each other and looked regal beyond human comprehension. In a feathery voice, Dark whispered,“Your soul mate's heart is at it'sfinal breaking tonight and will soon beat no more in this world. This heart cries for mending but is willing to remain shattered for all time to insure your future happiness.” In a similar voice, Light began to speak.“The path to that heart is revealed by the arrow of the last Star Card. Follow the light quickly if you wish to mend the Heart which my love Dark doth speak” Before Sakura could inquire about their cryptic remarks, Dark and Light disappeared into their Card. Sakura frantically grabbed the Key resting between her breasts and spoke the Words of Power to release it. With cheetah's speed, she summoned Fly. White wings burst through her pajama top. Without changing her garments, Sakura opened the window and raced after the last Star Card in the dark night of Tomoeda. Sakura's heart beat rapidly and she willed her magic to fly as fast as the winds. “I must find this person!”Sakura thought. “But I wonder whom it could be? Is it Syaoran?“ At the Daidouji estate: Tomoyo had viewed the completed videotapeseveral times. Tears trickled from her lavender eyes and wetted the dress. Lovingly, she enclosed the tape and sealed the envelope. In her beautiful handwriting, the envelope proclaimed'To My Special Someone 'My Only Love - Sakura-chan' She sealed the envelope and lifted her sewing bag revealing a pair of newly sharpened scissors. With one hand still holding the eraser, Tomoyo firmly grabbed the scissors and walked to her bed. She laid down and arranged some of her favorite hand-sewn costumes that Sakura had worn when she was capturing the Clow Cards.'But, unfortunately those days are over', thought Tomoyo. 'Only in my heart do such moments still dwell. Sakura has chosen Syaoran and I never had the courage to open the gate allowing me entrance into Sakura's heart. He got there first.' whispered Tomoyo as she stared at an enlarged photo of Sakura on the ceiling. The picture had been difficult to place there tonight, but it was worth it. Her tears flowed more freely as she looked at the picture of Sakura - branding every feature in her heart and soul while her right hand came upwards to her soft pale neck. Suddenly a light appeared in Tomoyo's darkened room and she quickly sat up from her macabre position. A surprised Tomoyo saw a Sakura Card spinning in mid-air at the foot of her bed. Faster and faster it twirled -bathing the whole huge room with a heavenly light and making Tomoyo feel faint and dizzy even though she was sitting on her bed. Then the sound of breaking glass filled the room as Sakura flew headfirst into Tomoyo's bedroom.“Tomoyo-chan - Tomoyo-chan, what are you trying to do?”cried Sakura -bleeding from several cuts on her arms, hands, and face. With her natural athleticism, Sakura leapt from the floor and grabbed Tomoyo's wristforcing the steely jaws of the scissors away from her soft neck. For the first time, the shocked Tomoyo wore none of her everyday masks and had no cheerful answers for Sakura's question. Her delicate gasping mouth opened and closed like a land-bound fish seeking water. Before Tomoyo knew it, the scissors were in Sakura's trembling hands. The emotions of anger, fear, and concern warred over the landscape that was Sakura's face and eyes. However, concern with a touch of fear and desperation won the battle on Sakura's face. Her wings fluttered weakly and Sakura panted. The cuts from the broken glass burned her nerves. She felt like she would collapse on the floor. Instead, she willed herself to sit by Tomoyo's side and violently threw the scissors across the room. “Tomoyo-chan Why?”asked Sakura as the evening's pent-up emotions in her heart erupted in full force. The tears flooded from her emerald-green eyes and stung her cuts. She looked at Tomoyo's sad face as if to find the answer there. Tomoyo bent her head to her chest, whispering softly between sobs the manilla envelope-a videotape-on my bureau...Puzzled, Sakura squeezed Tomoyo's hands. With one eye on Tomoyo, Sakura found the manilla envelope and read Tomoyo's notation admiring the lovely handwriting. Tomoyo looked up and saw Sakura's cheek turn fiery red. Sadly, Tomoyo realized that all of her plans for Sakura had failed. She was supposed to be dead. She had not anticipated her beloved Sakura's dramatic arrival. But instead of dropping the envelope in revulsion, Sakura reverently opened the envelope and tenderly plucked out the videotape. She walked to the VCR, turned on the TV, and walked over to Tomoyo's bed. “May I sit next to you, Tomoyo-chan?”asked Sakura. Tomoyo looked with awe at her beloved and nodded. The empty Card stopped spinning and it's light dimmed enough for the two girls to watch the screen. Sakura held Tomoyo's hand with all of her might as the tape started. On the TV screen, Tomoyo appeared.'She looks like an angel.'thought Sakura. Tomoyo was bathed in light and her beautiful voice could be heard. “Sakura-chanIwanted to give you one final gift. It is a song I wrote for you and only you. I know you are crying right now because of my death. I willed for my Mother to give you this video after my private funeral. But please my Sakura-chan. Do not cry for me! My time in this world is done. Your quest for the Clow Cards is complete. Your need for me is over. I only desire your eternal happiness and a joyful future with Syaoran. Like your Mother, I will be in Heaven- a Guardian Angel only for you. And when your life's journey is done, I will be waiting for you with open arms to hug you and loving hands to guide you into Heaven. Maybe there you and I can be in love together because on Earth our Love can never be.”,Tomoyo paused- closed her eyes, and clasped her hands to her chest. She inhaled, opened her delicate mouth, and began to sing... Sakura stared at the TV - mesmerized by Tomoyo's lavender eyes and angelic beauty. A blush bloomed on her cheeks. Her tears freely flowed and a warmth filled her heart and soul. After finishing the beautiful song, Tomoyo said, “I will always be with you My Beloved Sakura- chan. I have loved you since I first saw you in Tomoeda Elementary and this eraser has been the most precious gift I have ever received because it came from you”Tomoyo whispered as she lowered her praying hands and opened one revealing the plain rubber eraser. This is only a temporary separation, My Love. I am just going ahead of you to my destiny.Tomoyo's armsspread wide as if to engulf Sakura. A smile appeared on her face. However, her lavender eyes seemed to lose their color.“Sayonara Sakura-chan I will watch over you and Love you forever.”Tomoyo knelt on the carpet as if to pray slowly the picture blurred and faded away into oblivion. Sakura's heart bled more freely than any lacerations from the broken window could do. Crying, Sakura thought,'I've hurt Tomoyo-chan so deeply.'Though her heart was bleeding from sadness and regret, Sakura felt the seed of love that she had always had for Tomoyo sprout and grow watered and sunned by Tomoyo'srevelation. “So Dark and Light were talking about Tomoyo- chan!”thought Sakura. “She has been suffering all of this time because her love for me was never returned by me for her. I -I am responsible for breaking her heart again and again - until it shattered and made her want to end her life..“ Sakura turned to face Tomoyo. Tomoyo had not moved since Sakura had come to her bed. Her hand limply rested in Sakura's grip. Her head was still lowered and tears dripped from her cheeks. Sakure gently removed her hand from Tomoyo'sand reached for Tomoyo's face. Tomoyo cringed at Sakura's tender touch - anticipating a face filled with revulsion and anger. Sakura cupped Tomoyo's cheeks and slowly lifted her head so she could look deep into Tomoyo's lavender eyes. Tomoyo looked at Sakura's face and was stunned by the love and tenderness that gleamed from the emerald green eyes. “Sakura-chan...?“ whispered Tomoyo. With loving motion, Sakura pulled Tomoyo's face to her own and gave Tomoyo a passionate kiss. Tomoyo's fragile body wilted under the kiss. Her arms reached around Sakura's waist and hugged her tightlylike a drowning sailor would to a life-line. Sakura's hands stroked Tomoyo's cheeks and fingered her glossy lavender hair. Her slender body pressed against Tomoyo's and eased her body to a prone position. Tomoyo's eyes fluttered and she realized that sometime during this magical waking dream her dress had disappeared from her pale body. “Have I died and reached my ideal vision of Heaven?” thought Tomoyo.“My Sakura- chan is in my armskissing me, loving me...Healing me!” Suddenly Tomoyo's lavender eyes opened and drank up the sight of her Beloved Sakura pressing against her. The Card Mistress was smiling at Tomoyo. Her naked body glistened from her exertions to reach out and mend Tomoyo's heart with the Glue of Love.“Tomoyo-chan...I'm sorry for all of your pain and suffering.”whispered Sakura. “It's all my fault!”cried Sakura as tears mixed with the bloody cuts on her face. With surprising strength, the porcelain-skinned Tomoyo forced Sakura to sit upright on the large bed. “My Beloved Sakura-chan!”cried Tomoyo “You came to save me, but you've injured yourself! Please let me treat your cuts! “Oh Tomoyo-chan My Love,“roclaimed Sakura her emerald green eyes sparkling with Love and Happiness. Tomoyo quickly kissed her Sakura- chan and ran to her bathroom. As she waited for Tomoyo, Sakura gazed at the empty Star Card. It had stopped spinning and it's light was pulsing like a human heartbeat. Sakura bowed her head to the Star Cardandquietly thanked it as well as Dark and Lightforshowing her the path to her One True Love. Tomoyo returned with a moistened towel, a first-aid kit, and two sets of softlinenpajamas. “Ok Sakura-don't move,”said Tomoyo.FirstTomoyo looked over Sakura's body with piercing lavender eyes. She nodded and began to lick and kiss Sakura's cuts and scrapes. Sakura swooned in bliss. Tomoyo gently patted each wound with the warm wet towel. She tenderly applied antibiotic ointment and bandages to each wound - pouring her love for Sakura into every movement. Satisfied that her work was completed to perfection, Tomoyo said, “I think I treated all of your cuts, My Beloved Sakura-chan. But do you hurt anywhere that I can't see? Do I need to call foradoctor?” Sakura answered, “No but thank you My Tomoyo-chan. I don't need a doctor. But I do need You My LoveMy Tomoyo!“ Tomoyo beamed as brightly as the empty Star Card. She gently embraced Sakura and kissed her. “Oh My Beloved Sakura-chan!”cried Tomoyo. “How often have I dreamed of hearing those words from you and of being your Love!“ Sakura hugged Tomoyo and kissed her.“If you can ever forgive me Tomoyo- chan, I will promise you that your daysof loneliness and suffering will never return because you are My Soul Mate- My Beloved-My Tomoyo-chan.”confessed Sakura. “I want to be yours - Forever.” Tomoyo cried with tears of pure happiness. “My Dearest Sakura-chan, you have made my dearest wish come true!” With love and happiness, Tomoyo and Sakura embraced once more and Magic flared in the bedroom. The broken window was miraculously restored. The Star Card brightened and slowly faded. However, it's face was no longer empty because it now bore a hologram of Sakura and Tomoyo kissing and embracing each other and over their heads floated a red Valentine- shaped Heart. THE END Author's comments: I was hoping to write the lyrics of Tomoyo'ssong for you. The words were clear in my dream. However, Dawn's light faded the verses into obscurity. Maybe it's better that way so you - the reader - can imagine your own lyrics to Tomoyo's song of love confessed but unrequited on Earth, of her plea for Sakura's mortal happiness in spite of her suicide, of Tomoyo's wish of being Sakura's Guardian Angel throughout her mortal days and immortal life, and of her final words of goodbye to Sakura. I know I am not a CCS expert like many better writers and fans of the anime and manga, but I hope you will forgive any inconsistencies in this fanfic and enjoy it as it is written. Humbly yours, Joe Saunders at rphjas@lycos.com